Login    Forum    Search    FAQ

Board index » Game Talk




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 10 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: The Weekly Platypi - Issue 2: Plasmatium Netherious
 Post Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 3:24 pm 
Offline
The Dark Platypus
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2009 12:48 am
Posts: 945
The publisher apologizes for the delay in our weekly periodical. Our researchers, editors, interviewers, writers, and management were all on vacation last week. We hope to avoid such delays in the future.

Plasmatium Netherious: A Biological Mystery


Plasmatium Netherious, commonly known as the Nether Plasma has been a major topic of discussion among the biologist of the Far Wilds. Its mere existence is a denial of all that these scientists have believed about the evolution of this world.

At first glance, the Nether Plasma is a remarkable species. Its ability to reproduce and pass on its genetic code seems obvious with the ability to split remarkable fast. The Nether Plasma has even evolved a symbiotic relationship with the virus commonly known as the Black Plague, preventing damage the Plague would cause it while still being able to pass the Plague onto those that would attack and destroy it. This is made even more necessary by the fact that Plasma has no ability to attack on its own accord.

But the Nether Plasma’s current existence is altruistic to ridiculous proportions, pushing it towards the endangered species list. It has a tendency to sacrifice itself and its spawned progeny moments after coming into this world, usually to aid the creation of a larger creature or the construction of a building. It has even been known to sacrifice itself in order to claim territory, heal another creature, allow its controller to draw cards, or sate the hunger pains of the Lord of Chaos.

This behavior baffles modern biologist. Sacrificial altruism serves no purpose for the gene pool of the Plasmatium Netherious, creates no possible way for the species to continue, and allows for no genetic mutations to proliferate.

While such behavior greatly aids the race as whole on the short term, allowing the Dark Legion race to expand faster, control more territory, and destroy enemies, the long term effects are dire. Harm will come to both the species and the race. The Plasma will kill itself off as a species, allowing for no benefit to the Dark Legion race.

Biologists are scurrying to find a way to save the species, but there current efforts are to no avail. We fear the extinction of the Nether Plasma in the next couple of years.

_________________
Altren wrote:
I agree with Keyser, and that's what I'm planning to implement actually.

|| The Rise of the DCC | Plasmatium Netherious | Tastes Like Chicken | The Astridian Conspiracy ||

Guild -> | Platypus Rising|


Last edited by Keyser on Wed Sep 09, 2009 6:26 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Weekly Platypi - Issue 2: Plasmatium Netherious
 Post Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 3:25 pm 
Offline
The Dark Platypus
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2009 12:48 am
Posts: 945
Issue 1

_________________
Altren wrote:
I agree with Keyser, and that's what I'm planning to implement actually.

|| The Rise of the DCC | Plasmatium Netherious | Tastes Like Chicken | The Astridian Conspiracy ||

Guild -> | Platypus Rising|


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Weekly Platypi - Issue 2: Plasmatium Netherious
 Post Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 4:16 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Jun 07, 2009 10:35 pm
Posts: 51
Hmm.. very biological this time...
and this makes me think whether lord of chaos is just hungry or not.
'cause if he is just hungry he should just be angry not dying...

and my speculation: Keyser seems to like things with armor
so next week it might be the titan :)


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Weekly Platypi - Issue 2: Plasmatium Netherious
 Post Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 6:02 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2009 6:30 pm
Posts: 281
Location: Atmosphere of Magisteria
I too am concerned about the extinction of the Plasmatium Netherious! For now I ask that all DL players look deep into their black, twisted, evil, ugly, and dysfunctional hearts and stop the abuse of this card, errr beautiful creature. It is time to do the right thing for once, even if it means losing the advantage while battling for supremacy in the wilds far away. It is only a game! You would risk their loss for all time and eternity just to win a game? I humbly request, as a lover of all things Sylvan, that YOU evolve and learn a new strat. Please heed my call to action, or doom will afflict you in the form of a magical boot deep--oh so deep--in your backside!!! (I know karate too, if that motivates you to action).

Live long and prosper,

DarkJello, Guardian of Plasmatium Netherious

_________________
Ad astra per alia porci!$!


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Weekly Platypi - Issue 2: Plasmatium Netherious
 Post Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 8:44 pm 
Offline

Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 10:20 am
Posts: 234
Think they are good eating, but most often i cant wait for them to multiply before I eat them. Afraid they will get charmed and i will lose my chance.


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Weekly Platypi - Issue 2: Plasmatium Netherious
 Post Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 8:56 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 11, 2009 5:38 am
Posts: 315
/Me Snaps fingers well drinking coffee at the same time.


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Weekly Platypi - Issue 2: Plasmatium Netherious
 Post Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 9:00 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:21 am
Posts: 17
CaveTroll wrote:
Think they are good eating, but most often i cant wait for them to multiply before I eat them. Afraid they will get charmed and i will lose my chance.


According to a prison interview with the Lord of Chaos, they taste like vegemite. He likes to spread them on toast.


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Weekly Platypi - Issue 2: Plasmatium Netherious
 Post Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 10:47 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 01, 2009 9:17 pm
Posts: 119
Location: behind you eating your cookies...
And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hades delivered up the dead which were in them for all heeds the call of forshadowing ragnarok


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Weekly Platypi - Issue 2: Plasmatium Netherious
 Post Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 10:44 am 
Offline

Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2009 10:15 am
Posts: 3
Plasmatium Netherius: A modest proposal

Dear fellows,

I am grateful for the opportunity given to me to explain to Dr Keyser (as most of the other readers will have graduated from kindergarten and already known those facts) the rudiments of biology, evolution, and, why not, a bit of correct latin spelling.

There is, of course, nothing mysterious about the characteristics of the NP. As even Dr Keyser, and I use the term doctor in its most general meaning here, sacrifice cannot and, indeed, does not, evolve. The theory of the selfish eugene is now well documented and accepted by all. Sacrifice to help other, distantly related, species, is even more preposterous.

It is therefore easy to see, at least to a mind not reduced by continuous natural yet illegal inhalations, that Dr Keyser (do you also hear nails scratching a black board when those two words are put together ?) got it upside down.

Quite ironically, it is precisely because of their endurance and strength (which have evolved for other reasons, but that is another story) that the NPs are chosen as sacrifice by the mages inhabiting our world. And how can a creature, already on top of the food chain, virtually unkillable, defend itself against such (ab)use ? Growing bigger, having an even more resistant skin, will not do, as spells ignore such lowly attributes. No, if the NP specie was to survive, their was only one way: Reproduce, reproduce, reproduce (also, reproduce). By concentrating all their resources on reproduction (to the cost of losing claws and fangs -- let's not forget that NPs used to be ferocious predators only a few gazillions years ago), they effectively managed to avoid extinction.

Even better, the NPs have managed to switch back to non-sexual reproduction, having several benefits: First, as long as there will be one remaining, the specie will not go extinct. Secondly, parthenogenesis preserves all the characteristic of the "mother", therefore preserving NPs' huge, protected bodies (traits that would have disappeared, as they are unnecessary to a fast reproducing specie).

The NPs are therefore not in danger at all. If I have only one advice to leave you with, it is to sacrifice even more of them, even more often. This will make them fu.... reproduce even more and we will have more of them. To sacrifice.

Quod Est Demonstratoum, would wrongly write Herr Doktor Keyser.

I trust this gentle rebuttal will put a final point to what can only be described as the simplest mystery EVER IN THE WORLD.

Colonel Kassad,
Merchant.

This week's sale: Nether Plasma skin Overcoat !! Only 49.99 gold !! **


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Weekly Platypi - Issue 2: Plasmatium Netherious
 Post Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 3:44 pm 
Offline
The Dark Platypus
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2009 12:48 am
Posts: 945
Dear Delusional Colonel,

There are three points the editor of The Weekly Platypi feels must be made.

The first is that I am not a doctor, neither one dealing with patients nor one with a doctorate degree attached to his name. I do not have the patience to deal with patients nor to spend more time in school. In this issue of esteemed Weekly Platypi, I did not claim scientific authorship but merely reported the observations of the leading scientists of the Far Wilds.

Secondly, your logic, while seemingly sound, fails to recognize the fact that each NP has a limited capacity for reproduction. Field scientists have observed that an individual NP can produce a maximum of two offspring. Furthermore, this ability is not transferred to its living progeny. One newly spawned NP is able to become a total of three NPs, none of which can further reproduce. It seems that you are trying to find a way to justify your selfish slaughter of this poor creature for your own nefarious purposes.

Third, what is this "Latin" that you speak of? I've combed the Astridian Library and have only found one reference to "Latin" in an obscure science fiction book which talks of a world called "Earth". Surely you aren't referring to this? Credible scientists stick to facts rather than fiction.


I do provide a word of hope for you and others concerned with the survival of the NP as well as the continued use of the NP by mages.

In a magnanimous effort to save the species, spurred by the dire threat to the NP I realized while authoring this latest issue, I have developed a method -- admittedly using questionable arts-- that allows for an almost endless reproduction of the species. Recent results have created over twenty NPs in a thirty minute experiment. Prominent mages such as Nayen, Emancipate, Headshot, et al. can act as witnesses verifying these claims.

Keyser
Principal Editor, Author, Owner - The Weekly Platypi

_________________
Altren wrote:
I agree with Keyser, and that's what I'm planning to implement actually.

|| The Rise of the DCC | Plasmatium Netherious | Tastes Like Chicken | The Astridian Conspiracy ||

Guild -> | Platypus Rising|


Top 
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
 
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 10 posts ] 

Board index » Game Talk


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

 
 

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron